Top 5 takeaways from my coaching group for job seekers

Fall 2023 I created a group coaching and accountability program for job seekers called “Search Team”. 

This group of 8-10 people met 4x a week, which meant that I really got consistent exposure to their day-to-day experience of looking for work. I was reminded of how gnarly the process can be (and how ripe for improvement the whole system is). 

1. Job searching takes grit.

I created the group because I knew this. But I was really reminded of it by having almost daily touch points with the group members. I heard the challenges team members were facing — discomfort to share their story, lack of confidence in career history, uncertainty of whether their applications were being read, frustration that they knew what they wanted but the job wasn’t appearing, flaky recruiters, time-intensive job applications — the list goes on and on! It can be incredibly trying to have to show up again and again putting yourself out there in such a space of ambiguity, with high hope and need and often little feedback. It’s...tough.

Takeaway: If job searching is feeling hard for you, you’re not alone. 

Option: Find other people who are also searching and do things together. 

2. Know where to compromise.

It's wonderful to get clear on what your ideal job would be. But just because you know what you want, it doesn’t mean that it’s out there in abundant quantities. I saw a trend of Search Team members questioning if they were being too picky and should widen their scope. When they did open up their search criteria it would usually result in more interviews but also more confusion. “What they were even looking for in the first place!?”. Usually when this confusion arrived we would try to find some middle ground — how can you know your ‘dream job’ but also be curious about jobs that exist a ring or two outside of the bulls eye?

Takeaway: It’s great to know very specifically what you want but it also helps to know where you can be flexible and bend.

Option:  Outline the description of your ‘dream job’ but also what one level more broad would look like. For example, if you know your dream job is to be an Art Program Director at a non-profit serving POC youth, maybe your next level out would be working as a Program Director for any POC focused org. 

3. Practice and feedback help.

Search Team members were hearteningly generous toward one another: one person invited the other members to a coworking session that she was already a part of, a couple members got together to practice interview Q&A. I was really impressed by the self organization. Even though no one was obligated to give feedback, each and every time someone shared a resume, cover letter, or portfolio to be reviewed, several other team members would chime in with feedback. This not only made everyone’s materials stronger but it made each individual feel like they weren’t job searching on their own. Plus, it helped everyone remember that they have valuable ideas and contributions.

Takeaway: Getting feedback can be helpful to improve your materials. Giving feedback can be helpful to improve your sense of being able to contribute.

Option: Find others who are job searching or in your profession and ask them if they want to exchange feedback, ideally both ways.   

4. Balance is key.

You can treat job searching like a full time job but…you’ll burn out. It’s just too many hours to be in a striving space. I’ve found that people need to really pay attention to what fills their cup, what boosts their confidence, and then do those things. Set up structures to help you make time to do things that feel nourishing. Some people on the team did this through volunteering, some with their own creative practice, others with time with friends and family or getting a part time job. Doing things that make you feel like yourself, and help remind you of your worth outside of your career, are a life line during the often long process of job searching.

Takeaway: Take a beat to ask yourself ‘What fills my cup?” and then create structures to help you do those things regularly.

Option: Determine how many hours a week you want to dedicate to your job search. Make a schedule or (if you are schedule opposed) be at least mindful of how many hours you are putting into your search each week. Tweak it if the number ends up feeling too low or high.Try to stick to the number you chose.

5. Mind your mindset.

Whether you are applying to jobs without a current job or squeezing your search into the bookends of your work day, there is always ample time for internal stories about your search to come up. Stories like: “I will never find a better job than what I had”, “I am probably not qualified enough for this”, “I don’t think my job experience makes sense to other people”. Whatever your inner narrator is saying, be mindful of it. Don’t let it talk you down or convince you to not try! Let it bolster you instead.

Takeaway: Pay attention to what your inner narrator is saying and make sure it’s constructive and nurturing. If you notice the thoughts are less than kind, see how you can bring more compassionate thoughts.

Option: Talk to yourself out loud. Don’t be afraid to use your name when talking to yourself! i.e. “Melissa, you got this. You are just as qualified as anyone else!” Or “Melissa, you’ve done some amazing things to be proud of. You have a lot to contribute!”

To all the people looking for their next career chapter, I am sending a deep breath, a shoulder massage, and a nudge to find your grit.